cerebration

I have been using the Fertility Awareness Method [aka FAM] for the passed 3 cycles. It has worked fantastically! No hormones, less sevre mood swings, & the feeling that I am in control of my cycle. I had it down to a science. My cycles were 33 days long, I ovulated on the 18th-20th day, & I had a 14 day luteal phase. No more freaking out about 'being late' because I didn't get my period on the 28th day.
But.
This cycle was different. I had a normal 33 day cycle last time around. I got my period on the 2nd just as predicted. Everything was normal. It tapered off 4 days in, as usual. I thought it was safe. "I shouldn't ovulate until 16 days from now, yeah babe, we're fine." So we went ahead and...[cough]  the next day my temperature was unusually high for post period. 'strange' i thought. 'what could be going on? maybe its all just from the heat being on at night.' boy was i wrong. The next day I ovulated... Needless to say, there is a pretty damn good chance I could be cookin' a bun in my oven at this very moment.
I'm scared. I'm anxious. And somewhere deep inside im just a tiny bit excited. We are in no place to have another child right now. But obviously God has other plans <3

If I am with child, I will be due July 1st [as conception date predicts]. Making it a Cancer in the zodiac. And as old wives tales predict it should be a girl. Time will tell. I'll update with the answer in about 2 weeks.
Will it be a negative test? Or will I be awaiting the arrivial of Anita Antoinette or Denver Wayne?
We'll see.
 

I really need new glasses. And my hair is taking forever to grow.
Thankfully I was clever enough to buy cheap frames from the Main Exchange, so now I can just ask them to put my lenses in. Way to save money. Go me. Too bad my prescription will most likely run us about $70 we don't have at the moment.
Time for some lemon pepper chicken, and Lost Odysessy.

I've started drawing again. It feels pretty nice. Especially since its been so long since I've actually had a sketching mood.
Im actually working on something right now. Its a little more focused than the two I posted on here last. Its got a little nature some fantasy and hopefully this one will have color. Its just a matter of me picking up the pencils.
I found Cassandra on Brittany's LJ. Shes an amazing artist. And from adding her on myspace, i've discovered a whole slew of talented people. I've been sitting here looking at their work all night :) [since my homework is done for the night]
I cant wait to build up a good sketch book again. Like the one I used to have when I was in middle school haha.

Enough rambling. Im going to finish my champagne and cuddle with Cody.
Good night.

random doodle numero uno


random doodle numero dos

I want to add color to them. but i cant decide of they need pastels or colored pencils >.<

Today was a rough day. Both Troy and I are teething haha. Im getting a wisdom tooth in and he is getting another front bottom tooth. He was extremely irritable, and I was in pain. Not a good mix. It made for a lot of tears on both ends.
And then poor Cody came home and caught the brunt of both of our frustrations. But he managed to work his magic and at least get me to calm down. Troy however, ended up being put in bed at 6pm.
After a good half an hour of listening to him cry and complain I decided it would do us all some good to get out of the house. So we went for a walk, at 6:30pm. It was perfect outside, and Troy calmed down as soon as we started walking. Cody and I talked and flirted and laughed the whole trip to the 7 day store. By the time we finally got home it was about 8pm. And we're both pretty beat. But it felt so good to get some fresh air.
So I've decided that Troy and I are going to start walking before he has to go to bed. Not for 2 hours or any thing. Probably about 20 to 30 minutes. Just to get us out of the house, and to get me some exercise. It will most likely help him sleep a little better too. Fresh air tends to do that to babies :)
Anyway, this group project is going a little better than I had thought it would. I am keeping in touch with two of the girls in the group. And we've already assigned tasks and thought of a back up plan in case everyone else decides they don't want to participate. It should all run fairly smoothly. My only concern is that both ladies have been evacuated. Funny how that works, the only two that are making an effort should have the hardest time getting to a computer. Hooray for lazy people -_-
Well with the acception of my 29 girlies. I really have no use for my myspace anymore. Its all about the facebook now. So much classier. I like it a lot. And it gives me the opportunity to keep in touch with a lot of people that dont have a myspace account. I think I might make Cody one. He's been sounding like he feels left out. 
Its about time to shower. Nice...cool...shower. Too bad today isnt my hair washing day. Bleh I really really want to. But, my hair needs its oils to keep growing healthy for the kids. So i'll just give it a good rinse. Hope you enjoyed that last bit of useless info.
Good night.
.

Its been a little while since my last update.
My sister-in-law came to visit us for the week. She left this afternoon. It was nice to have the company, and I hope she comes out to visit us again some time.
MKT-255 is going alright so far. Its Group Project week [[unenthusiastic yay]]. One of the girls in my group is in the hurricane zone, has been evacuated twice, and some how is the only person other than me that has made any effort to get the work done. Hooray for being stuck with another usless undependable bunch. Hopefully I dont end up doing the project myself. It would suck to have to whip up 9 pages alone.
Troy is standing by himself, and getting more and more courageous every day. Hes already taken his first step, and he can stand for longer periods of time without losing balance. I have a feeling my hair will start graying any day now.
Cody and I are doing well. We've finally gotten over the Post Iraq stress. And now we're arguing a lot less, and being more considerate of each other. Not to mention our love life is back on an upturn :)
Friday will be the 1 year left mark. Its quickly approaching and I feel like I should already start looking into moving companies, boxes, and storage places. I know we still have a whole year until crunch time. But im not one of those people that likes to put things off until the last minute. Starting in January I am going to clean up and pack things little by little. That way everything will be done for the most part by the time our EAS date comes. I want it to be as stress free as possible for us.
As some of you may or may not know, Cody and I were considering having our second baby around October/November. We've decided against it. We're just going to wait it out and try our best to get settled in Tucson first. I am only 20 after all, its not like my biological clock has started ticking or anything. I would like Troy to be younger than kindergarten age before our next little tike though. Just so I can get them used to being with each other and minimize the jealousy issues.
As for me on a personal level, I've emerged out of my post prego blues, and I am really starting to feel like myself again. I've picked up old interests, Im focusing on my school work, and I've even started venturing out into Social Sciences on my own. Specifically the cultural history of sex. I was recommended a book called "A mind of its own: A  Cultural History of the Penis." It looks fascinating. And It was recommended by a reliable, and unperverted source. So I'll be waiting to read that one. My hair growing project is going well. I've already gained about 3/4's of an inch. And im maintaining its health quite well. I've already noticed an improvement in its overall apperance.
Anyway its about time for Troys bath. He made a mess with his squash today.
-BxSx

Troy James,
I cant believe that in 2 months it will be your very first birthday. I feel like I just gave birth to you yesterday. And now you have teeth, you're trying your best to form words, you're trying to walk, and you have lots of hair on that once bald head. I remember when they were turning us from side to side because you wouldnt come out, and your heart rate was dropping. I remember being rushed into the operating room and being alone. And then the most wonderful thing in my entire life happened. You screamed at the top of your little lungs, and for the first time I saw your perfectly little round face. Nothing else mattered in that moment, nothing but you.
I think the first thing I noticed about you were your ears. They look just like your daddy's. Almost elf like with that slight point at the top and roundness at the bottom. The next thing I noticed was your appetite. You ate every hour on the hour. And the whole week we were in that hospital you only left my sight twice. I didnt sleep, but you did. Right on my chest with food ready at your leisure.
You were so small, and so helpless. But you were in no way insignificant. At that time daddy was in Iraq. And all we had was each other. You were my strength, and my reason to wake up the next morning and to smile, and you still are.
I remember that long drive home back to California. It was just the two of us in that car. [and all of your baby things for the house]. You were such a good boy. We only stopped once in between tank fills. And I looked forward to every time you stirred.
I remember coming home to the empty house and telling you that we had to decorate it for daddy. To make it nice for him when he gets home. Our first trip grocery shopping. Those cashiers always recognized us because I never ever put you in the cart. I rarely put you down at all for that matter. I remember all of those nights that we slept cuddled up together. And that first night you slept in your big boy crib in your very own room. I dont know if you know this, but I caved a couple of nights and snuck you in bed with me. I remember those days we both cried because we didnt know what was wrong. And the night daddy was coming home. I think you knew something was going to change for the best. Even though daddy missed those very precious first 5 months of your life, he loved you just as much as I did. And even though it took a while for the two of you to meet, watching the two of you together, looking at him holding you for the first time... I just knew that you guys would be best friends.
I feel so blessed to call you my son. You get bigger and smarter every single day. And I'm excited to watch you grow into a man one day. I love you my sweet little angel, more than you'll ever understand.
Happy 10 month grow day :)
-Love Mommy.

Im getting the itch to grow my hair long again. I want it down to the middle of my back, just like it was when I was about 12. I think I am going to go through with it, but I feel like I am going to grow it out just to chop it up again. So, I am contemplating growing my hair for locks of love. They require 10 inches minimum of hair that is clean, dry, and put into a ponytail once cut. I just dont know if I can have the best of both worlds. Can I grow it for locks of love, and then still have enough hair left after the cut for it to be the length I want?
Well I just did the measurements. 10 inches of hair, and having it the length I want after its been cut for donation would mean me growing it down to my butt. Wow O.O I wonder if I would be able to stand it. Its for a good cause, but would I be able to stand sitting on my hair and getting it caught in things all the time? Geeze. Thats a lot of hair. I dont even know if my hair will physically grow to that length.  [of about 35 inches]
Hmmmmm.... any suggestions?